Life isn’t always the sweetest candy. Sometimes, when I feel like the world is just too heavy, I look around and find people who continued to live fascinating and wonderful lives. And then thoughts come popping into my mind like bubbles from nowhere – “How did their life become so easy going? How come they still can manage to laugh and play around despite a busy stressful life?”  Then I pause for awhile… I figured out that maybe, they work on themselves.

So, how does one become genuinely happy?

Step 1 is to love yourself.
 
A theology professor once said that “loving means accepting.”  To love yourself means to accept that you are not a perfect being, but behind the imperfections must lie great courage to be able to discover ways to improve your outlook to recover from our mistakes.

Genuine happiness is also about contentment. When you are contented with the job you have, the way you look, with your family, your friends, the place you live in, your car, and all the things you now have – truly, you know the answer to the riddle of “how to be genuinely happy.”

I believe that life is about finding out about trying and failing, winning and losing. These are things that happen as often as you inhale and exhale. Failure, in a person’s life is necessary as air. If you aren’t “failing” a lot – you aren’t trying a lot. But “failure” shouldn’t keep you from being happy.
How can you be genuinely happy in spite all this? I tell you… every time you exert effort to improve the quality of life and your being, whether it is cleaning up your room, helping a friend, taking care of your sick dog, failing and trying again, life gives you bonus points for that.
 
Imagine life as a big score board like those at a football game. Every time you take a step forward, you score a point. Wouldn’t it be nice to look at that board at the end of each game and think to yourself “Whew! I got a point today. I’m glad I gave it a shot.”

Genuine happiness isn’t about driving the hottest, fastest car, or getting the employee of the year award, earning the highest commission, or beating the sales quota. The most sought after prizes in life doesn’t always go to the fastest, the strongest, the bravest or even the best. So, how do you become genuinely happy?
Everyone has his own definition of ‘happiness’. Happiness for a writer may mean launching a bestselling book. Happiness for a basketball rookie may mean getting the rookie of the year award. Happiness for a beggar may mean a lot of money. Happiness for a business man may mean success.
 
So, really now, how do we become genuinely happy? Simple. You don’t always need to have the best things in this world. Happiness is about doing and making the best out of every single thing. When you find yourself smiling at your own mistake and telling yourself “Oh, I’ll do better next time”, you carry with you a flame of strong will power that may spread out like a brush fire. You possess a willingness to stand up again and try – that will make you a genuinely happy person.

When you learn to accept yourself and your own faults. You pass step 1 in the project “how to become genuinely happy”. For as long as you know how to accept yourself, you will also be accepted. For as long as you love and know how to love, you will receive love back.

If I had to sum it up in one sentence, it would be this.

You become happy when you truly and completely accept ALL of yourself.

Forge Your Own Destiny!

Jerry L Saunders

Studies have proven that those who meditate on a regular basis have reduced illness, stress, and need for rest. The side effects of meditation include a list so long it would take a whole page to list them.  I’ll bet you know what most of them are already.

One of the most compelling reasons to meditate is that the process of meditation itself is so relaxing. Meditation isn’t dependent upon the outcome, but the act of meditation itself is a rewarding one, transporting you to a state of tranquil awareness during the process of meditation itself, not just at the end of training.
 
Think about that for a minute.  All of the great benefits of meditation you read about are side effects!  Don’t you wish you could find a list like that on a medication bottle?  But you can’t -you only get them from a regular meditation practice.

Every day you experience a constant onslaught of stress. You are bombarded by negative energies in the form of such things as television, noise pollution, arguments, and blaring music or angry people. In order to counteract this overwhelming force of negativity and stress, you need a super power. That super power is meditation.

Many moons ago, nature surrounded people during their daily routines. There were no artificial sound vibrations from telephones or machinery; there were no stresses and diseases resulting from urban industrial complexes. There was the sound of water, the hum of the wind, the beauty of the stars in the sky, and the scent of the earth. There were natural rhythmns in every aspect of daily life, as people planted seeds, nurtured them into foodstuffs, and as they observed the cycles of nature they felt a connection to them. Now, of course, we can live our entire lifespan without ever contacting nature in a direct meaningful way. We live in artificially controlled climates, we gather food from fast food restaurants or grocery stores where it’s been prepackaged from a factory.  In a way, you might say we divorce of ourselves from our natural origins and our organic, original pace of life.

Meditation gives you an easy and portable method to enter into those lost natural rhythms, by closing out the world around you, letting go of your body, and clearing your mind of all the artificial stress it gathers knowingly or unknowingly during the course of your daily life.
 
Meditation costs nothing, it has no harmful side effects, and it won’t add calories or cholesterol to your diet. And it’s not addictive in the same sense as drugs and alcohol. But it does give you  an elevated sense of well-being, that can be  compared to a natural “high” more powerful than those induced by drugs.  It can become a “positive” addiction.

Your body is a complex creation, and your brain helps your body naturally produce drugs that are many times more powerful than narcotics. As you meditate, your body secretes hormones and chemicals that actually provide an incredible rush of energy and happiness, and this is only one of the amazing side effects of meditation practice.

Meditation means different things to different people. Some use it in place of, or in addition to, psychotherapy. Others find it valuable as a tool to improve sports or work performance, and to increase  memory and creative thinking. Some people rely on it to help them deal with grief or the aftermath of trauma or tragedy, and to regain an appreciation for life’s beauties. And there are those who use meditation as a creative tool to inspire them in  art and music.
 Meditation gives you stronger vitality, sexual energy, and calmness, as it provides a rest that is comparable to deep, restful sleep.  That, in itself, is a fantastic reason to spend a few minutes a day meditating.

There are countless reasons to meditate, not mention that it’s the number one way to make your personal world a better, more peaceful and harmonious place.  Take some time out of your stressful life to pause and refresh yourself with a regular meditation practice.

Don’t be fooled into thinking you have to pay hundreds of dollars for the latest and greatest meditation CD program out there.  Don’t get me wrong, there are some good ones I’ve seen. But, if you want to get started right now, today, with some simple, easy to use free instructions at Meditate In A Minute. Don’t think about it any longer.  You can get started today.

Forge Your Own Destiny!

Jerry L Saunders, RM

To grow spiritually in a world defined by power, money, and influence is a Herculean task. Modern conveniences such as electronic equipment, gadgets, and tools as well as entertainment through television, magazines, and the web have predisposed us to confine our attention mostly to physical needs and wants. As a result, our concepts of self-worth and self-meaning are muddled. How can we strike a balance between the material and spiritual aspects of our lives?
To grow spiritually is to look inward.

Introspection goes beyond recalling the things that happened in a day, week, or month. You need to look closely and reflect on your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and motivations. Periodically examining your experiences, the decisions you make, the relationships you have, and the things you engage in provide useful insights on your life goals, on the good traits you must sustain and the bad traits you have to discard. Moreover, it gives you clues on how to act, react, and conduct yourself in the midst of any situation.
 
Like any skill, introspection can be learned; all it takes is the courage and willingness to seek the truths that lie within you. Here are some pointers when you introspect: be objective, be forgiving of yourself, and focus on your areas for improvement.

To grow spiritually is to develop your potential.

Religion and science have differing views on matters of the human spirit. Religion views people as spiritual beings temporarily living on Earth, while science views the spirit as just one dimension of an individual. Mastery of the self is a recurring theme in both Christian (Western) and Islamic (Eastern) teachings.
 
The needs of the body are recognized but placed under the needs of the spirit. Beliefs, values, morality, rules, experiences, and good works provide the blueprint to ensure the growth of the spiritual being. In Psychology, realizing one’s full potential is to self-actualize.

Maslow identified several human needs: physiological, security, belongingness, esteem, cognitive, aesthetic, self-actualization, and self-transcendence. William James earlier categorized these needs into three: material, emotional, and spiritual. When you have satisfied the basic physiological and emotional needs, spiritual or existential needs come next. Achieving each need leads to the total development of the individual. Perhaps the difference between these two religions and psychology is the end of self-development: Christianity and Islam see that self-development is a means toward serving God, while psychology views that self-development is an end by itself.

To grow spiritually is to search for meaning.

Religions that believe in the existence of God such as Christianism, Judaism, and Islam suppose that the purpose of the human life is to serve the Creator of all things. Several theories in psychology propose that we ultimately give meaning to our lives. Whether we believe that life’s meaning is pre-determined or self-directed, to grow in spirit is to realize that we do not merely exist. We do not know the meaning of our lives at birth; but we gain knowledge and wisdom from our interactions with people and from our actions and reactions to the situations we are in. As we discover this meaning, there are certain beliefs and values that we reject and affirm. Our lives have purpose. This purpose puts all our physical, emotional, and intellectual potentials into use; sustains us during trying times; and gives us something to look forward to—a goal to achieve, a destination to reach. A person without purpose or meaning is like a drifting ship at sea.
To grow spiritually is to recognize interconnections.

Religions stress the concept of our relatedness to all creation, live and inanimate. Thus we call other people “brothers and sisters” even if there are no direct blood relations. Moreover, deity-centered religions such as Christianity and Islam speak of the relationship between humans and a higher being. On the other hand, science expounds on our link to other living things through the evolution theory.
 
This relatedness is clearly seen in the concept of ecology, the interaction between living and non-living things. In psychology, connectedness is a characteristic of self-transcendence, the highest human need according to Maslow. Recognizing your connection to all things makes you more humble and respectful of people, animals, plants, and things in nature. It makes you appreciate everything around you. It moves you to go beyond your comfort zone and reach out to other people, and become stewards of all other things around you.

Growth is a process thus to grow in spirit is a day-to-day encounter. We win some, we lose some, but the important thing is that we learn, and from this knowledge, future spiritual growth is made possible.

Keep Growing and…

Forge Your Own Destiny!

Jerry L Saunders

Sometimes it’s hard to look on the bright side even when things are going fairly well. When you’re going through tough times, keeping the “glass is half full” mentality can be a feat in itself!

Don’t Get Overwhelmed

When you’re in the middle of a stressful situation, it’s important to disallow over-anxious and over-analyzed thoughts. You really don’t want to overwhelm yourself with an over-stimulated mind because the added stress will only strain your mind further and you’ll find it nearly impossible to think positively.

Ways To Look On The Bright Side

How you go about transforming difficult situations into positive outcomes will differ each time. Your goal should be to discover a set of strategies that works well for you. It might take some experimenting, but that’s okay!

Consider the following ways to achieve a positive mindset:

1. Avoid feeling sorry for yourself. Feeling sorry for yourself only wastes precious brainpower and it’s not going to help you out in the long run. Instead, strive to gain the wisdom to accept your situation and focus on solutions, instead of sorrow or worry. Everyone has to travel through tough times at some point; it’s just a part of life!

2. Find the life lesson. It may be hard to find the silver lining, but it’s almost always hiding somewhere. All of your experiences – both good and bad – contribute to your life’s knowledge. Be thankful for what you know!

Reflect on the fact that you’ve gained wisdom and knowledge that may help you make better decisions and cope well in the future.

3. Start small. Take some time to reflect on the difficult situation. If you’re having trouble finding a positive manner of thinking, just start by smiling at yourself in the mirror. You might not feel happy right away, but it sure will be hard not to feel happy when you see a beautiful smiling face staring back at you!

You can also consider the use of positive affirmations to help you through tough times. The more frequently you repeat your affirmations, the sooner you’ll ingrain the positive beliefs into your subconscious.

4. Stop worrying. When you’re going through a tough situation, sometimes your worries can overtake you. The future might seem scary and bleak and you’re not sure what you should do. As you know, worrying isn’t going to help the situation in the least. Instead, the moment worry creeps in, redirect your mind onto something positive or reassuring.

Stay calm and start brainstorming some practical solutions.

5. Be brave about change. Change is inevitable and most often you don’t even notice that it’s happening. During tough times, however, you’re likely more sensitive to the changes that are taking place.

Think about change as an exciting adventure. You’ll never know what you can discover and learn until you’re open to change.

Help From Others

When you’re going through a tough time, your instincts might be to pull inward. Perhaps you don’t want people to see you in a vulnerable state or you want to solve your problems all on your own. However, you must resist this urge to shut people out! Remember, you’re never alone. Your family and loved ones are always there to help you get through any challenging situation, but only if you allow them to!

Of course, your loved ones may not be able to solve your problem outright, but they can provide you with a fantastic support system and help you brainstorm different avenues for problem solving.

As hard as it may seem now, it is possible for you to think positively when you’re enduring tough times. Use these simple positive thinking strategies to help you change your mindset quicker than you ever thought possible!

Forge Your Own Destiny!

Jerry L Saunders

McDonald’s does it, why shouldn’t you? Life is filled with choices; why not choose to live life in a more satisfying way.

1. Say Yes to Life. “Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” -Henry James

Saying yes to life allows wonderful blessings to come to you. Say yes to opportunity and success. Say yes to a life that you live by your standards. Say yes to making your own decisions and not seeking approval of others. Say yes to a fulfilling and rewarding career. Say yes to a relationship that energizes, supports and stimulates you. Say yes to a promising future. Say yes to living without guilt, resentment or regrets. Say yes to spending more time on your self improvement. Say yes to living an authentic life. Say yes to taking chances and freeing yourself from fear. Say yes to happiness and achievements. Say yes to a well-lived life.

2. Love Yourself and Others Unconditionally. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude; it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs…..” I Corinthians 13: 3, 5)

When was the last time you loved without hesitation or caution? Withholding love as a means of control only leads to distrust and resentment. Loving unconditionally means loving without judgment. Free yourself from unrealistic expectations and accept the person you love for who they are. Do not expect your needs and wants to be fulfilled by someone else. Allow those you love to express themselves without fear of rejection. Do not punish yourself or loved ones for past mistakes. People use the word love very loosely, but do not stop to think of the implications of using the word. Take the time to be responsible in how you show love. Allow yourself to love and be loved.

3. Take Risks “There came a time when the risk to remain tight in the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.” – Anais Nin

Everything in life involves a risk. Are you allowing fear of rejection and failure to dictate your life? Fear inhibits success. Take chances and free yourself from limiting beliefs. Taking risks empowers you to take charge of your life. Be curious about life; experiment and try new things. Set goals for yourself and take action. Step out of what is safe, comfortable and familiar to you. Examine what feelings emerge when you are thinking about taking a risk. Ask yourself, “What am I afraid of?” Concealing yourself in a safe container prevents you from exploring other possibilities. Embrace the unknown and anticipate success. You will never know the outcome if you don’t take the risk.

4. Make the Impossible, Possible “The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. The optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”- Winston Churchill

Think it can’t happen; then it won’t. It is possible to get through the difficult times in life. Learn from failures and take responsibility for your life. Listening to your inner critic can sabotage your dreams. Silence the critic by reaffirming all the things you are capable of doing. Dream big and be excited about your future. Find and release your untapped talents. Believe in your abilities and discover what you have to offer the world. Think about all the things you can’t do and try to do them. Think back to a time, when something was difficult and you were able to overcome the challenge. Continuing to live life in a safe container doesn’t help you gain anything in life. Take the necessary actions to achieve your goals. Stop assuming and start achieving!

5. Make Your Life Really Count. “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” – Annie Dillard

What’s your legacy? How do you want to be remembered? The life you live defines who you are and the choices you make will determine what impact you will have on the lives of others. Never underestimate the power of your words and actions. You were uniquely created to make a contribution to the world. It is your right and your obligation to make your mark in this world. Surround yourself with people who are supportive, positive and encouraging. Show appreciation and gratitude to those around you. If you have a message to share, then share it with the world. Staying small and thinking small will not get you where you need to be in life. Starting today, have a new perspective on life. Start a new chapter in your life.

Forge Your Own Destiny!

Jerry L Saunders